Your Undivided Attention Five Steps to Active Listening

This is the central question explored by Yale philosopher and cognitive scientist L.A. Democracy depends on our ability to choose our political views. But when the language we use to talk about political issues is designed to influence our beliefs, are we choosing our views, or is our language choosing them for us? This week, Your Undivided Attention welcomes two Jedi Masters of political communication — Drew Westen and Frank Luntz. A few weeks ago, we aired an episode with Dylan Marron — creator and host of the podcast, Conversations With People Who Hate Me.

Throughout our entire married life, most of the time that Joyce and I have spent giving each other undivided attention has been away from our home. That way we were able to avoid interruptions from our children or unexpected company. But now, even though our children have been on their own for years, we still spend most of that time away from our home. We’ve found that it’s much easier to give each other the kind of undivided attention we both need when we’re not at home. Co-hosts Tristan Harris and Aza Raskin explore the incredible power that technology has over our lives — for good and for bad.

The Three Rules of Humane Tech

First, it’s important to know what kind of listeners are out there. In a stunning example of the kind of mind-set that undermines good daily experience, most people reflexively say that they prefer being at home to being at work. However, flow research shows that on the job, they’re much likelier to focus on activities that demand their attention, challenge their abilities, have a clear objective and elicit timely feedback — conditions that favor optimal experience. Unfortunately, not everyone gets the memo when it comes to giving one’s undivided attention. Cell phones ring, people chatter, papers rustle, and tempers flare.

One experiment in enabling companies to transcend multipolar traps is the Long Term Stock Exchange — a U.S. national securities exchange serving companies and investors who share a long-term vision. This week on Your Undivided Attention, we’re airing ZigZag’s conversation with Long Term Stock Exchange founder, Eric Ries. Tai-Seale M, Dillon E C, Yang Y. Physicians’ well-being linked to in-basket messages generated by algorithms in electronic health records. Rotenstein L S, Holmgren A J, Downing N L, Bates D W. Differences in total and after-hours electronic health record time across ambulatory specialties. Benda N C, Meadors M L, Hettinger A Z, Ratwani R M. Emergency physician task switching increases with the introduction of a commercial electronic health record. Turn off technology, turn off the roles you feel like you need to play, and even turn off the other people in your life.

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Some of the best conversations occur when you only listen. The truth is, you don’t have time not to pay attention. Holmgren A J, Downing N L, Bates D W. Assessment of electronic health record use between US and non-US health systems. +UAL contains information of alerts, inbox messages, dialog box, narrator, navigator, and tabs of the encounter, note, order, and result, which can be leveraged to determine attentional blinks.

Then the counselor must schedule around a host of evening and weekend activities that take a husband and wife in opposite directions. But after marriage, like so many other couples, you may find that you can be in the same room together and yet ignore each other emotionally. What’s even worse, you may find that you are not even in the same room together very often, particularly after your children arrived. If you give someone or something your undivided attention, you concentrate on them fully and do not think about anything else. Harris has spent a decade understanding the invisible influences that hijack human thinking and action. Just as soon as I’ve finished this letter, I’ll give you my undivided attention.

Self Improvement Quick Links

There’s a lot going on where we’re being pulled in a bunch of different ways. You and your spouse fell in love with each other because you met some of each other’s most important emotional needs, and the only way to stay in love is to keep meeting those needs. Even when the feeling of love begins to fade, or when it’s gone entirely, it’s not necessarily gone for good. It can be recovered whenever you both go back to being an expert at making Love Bank deposits. First, be sure you know what each other’s needs are . Then, learn to meet those needs in a way that is fulfilling to your spouse, and enjoyable for you, too.

• You’ll have enough room to exchange information with others.
• Natasha Dow Schüll, cultural anthropologist and author of Addiction by Design, tells us what gamblers are really after a lot of the time—it’s not money.
• This is the second part in a two-part conversation about Twitter that we’ve had on Your Undivided Attention about Elon Musk’s bid for Twitter and what it could mean in the context of the need to go in a more humane direction.
• Present facts, thoughts, and opinions, as needed, and ask questions where necessary.

Technology and social media are creating patterns and pathways of conflict that few people anticipated or even imagined just a decade ago. And we need to act quickly to contain the effects, but we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. And, we can also decide to step out of the game, and do something different. Our guest on this week’s Your Undivided Attention is a master at doing just that.

If you want to manage your time and be more productive, you can’t go wrong giving your undivided attention to whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. But what does the phrase, “undivided attention,” mean exactly? It means your attention is 100% focused on whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing at that moment. By owning your results, reading aza raskin confront catastrophic and controlling what you can control, you will see your productivity skyrocket.

Understanding the difference between active, passive, and selective listening can help you understand how to become a better listener. This is one of the secrets of the happiest people and it’s part of the basis for one of the most effective happiness-boosting techniques. Most of us seek unscheduled free time for our leisure but given your brain’s lazy nature, you’re likely to waste that time doing what’s easy vs. what’s really fun.

What she has discovered is not simply an explosion of disruptive communications, but a pandemic of stress that has followed workers from their offices to their homes. Rachel Botsman, Trust Fellow at Oxford University, guides us through a global trust crisis—speaking directly to technology leaders about fostering communities and creating products the public is willing to put faith in. Jack Kornfield and Trudy Goodman have helped thousands of people find their way out of a mental loop, by moving deeper into it. It’s a journey inward that reveals an important lesson for the architects of the attention economy. Fred Turner, a professor of communications at Stanford University, discusses how media can make us feel more reflective, more patient, and more tolerant.

Dylan Marron has been called by Jason Sudeikis “a modern Mr. Rogers for the what is bookkeeping age.” What’s the alternative to the Silicon Valley unicorn? What might it look like to design an ownership and governance model that incentivizes humane technology? This week on Your Undivided Attention, we’re talking with Mara Zepeda and Kate “Sassy” Sassoon of Zebras Unite. Since it’s looking more and more like Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, will probably soon have ownership of Twitter, we wanted to do a special episode about what this could mean for Twitter users and our global digital democracy as a whole.

So while some form of emotional connection should be made throughout the week, if the four intimate emotional needs are to be met effectively, a four-hour date is usually required. But there are some women who don’t see the connection either. They want their husbands to give them the most attention when there is no possibility for sex.

Avoid watching TV, playing with your dog, filing paper, or doing laundry when you are on the phone. Just like climate crisis, time management can become erratic and get away from us, which is why setting aside specific times for projects can be the ultimate time management hack to take your game to the next level. If this one were easy, then everyone would be doing it. Distractions are one of the easiest and more efficient ways to distract our focus and waste precious brainpower on tasks that yield little to no long-term benefits. Like most things in life, learning isn’t uniformly accomplished across the human species in the same way. Some may learn better through audio while others prefer video.

This tip is great because it helps prevent distractions before they happen. Take a moment to set your landline phone system or cell phone to go directly to voicemail before you take your call. Don’t forget to undo the setting once your call is completed. We’ve all had experiences where people are supposed to be participating in a call, but soon find out their attention is elsewhere. Being productive can be tedious, but anyone who has found success in their career will agree that most of their success resulted from the long hours of work where no one was watching.